Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Resistance FRIDAY!

Cheers and Jeers: Rum and Resistance FRIDAY!


Late Night Snark: Back Open Edition

“All I want to know is, since the government shut down do we still have to pay taxes for the whole year? Do we get pro-rated or something? When my cable shut down Comcast gave me free HBO for a month. I feel like the government owes us, like, an eagle or an apple pie or something.”

---Michael Che

“Why is shutting down our entire government even an option? America’s been around for 240 years---maybe it’s time we just buy our government instead of leasing it month to month. Even production on House of Cards didn’t shut down after the main guy was accused of being a predator---if a fake government can keep going, so can we. Also, in that fake government they got rid of the sexual predator president and got a female president instead. So, just something to think about.”

---Colin Jost

“Following reports that President Trump carried on an affair with a porn star shortly after the birth of his youngest son, the head of the conservative Family Research Council said in a new interview that Trump deserves a ‘do-over.’ OK, but I doubt she’d still be into it.
---Seth Meyers

“Donald pulled out all the stops to make sure their date was romantic. When she arrived he was in sweatpants and they ended up eating in his hotel room. Sweatpants? Eating in the bedroom? Even back then he was preparing for the presidency.”

---Stephen Colbert

“Saturday was the second annual Women’s March, and thousands of women held signs protesting the president. But Trump was like, ‘Joke’s on you---I can’t read.’”
---Jimmy Fallon

“Sleepy Eyed Mussolini…Human ‘left swipe’…The little alien that laughed at all of Jabba the Hutt’s jokes…Human You Tube comment…Richard III as told by reddit…Inspiration for the invention of panic rooms...”

---Euphemisms for White House senior Nazi adviser Stephen Miller by the staff at Full Frontal (See full list here)

Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]