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From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Late Night Snark: Welcome to 2018 Edition
“The rats are finally eating their young. This administration is unlike anything ever. There are three new scandals every day. The wheels just keep coming off and somehow the bus keeps rolling. I don’t know how many wheels are on this bus.”
“The Trump presidency is basically a marathon. It’s painful, it’s pointless, and the majority of you didn’t even agree to run it, you were just signed up by your dumbest friend.”
Trump tweet: “It could be the coldest New Year’s Eve on record. Perhaps we could use a little bit of that good old global warming that our country, but not other countries, was going to pay trillions of dollars to protect against. Bundle up!”
Stephen Colbert: Because Donald Trump is cold right now, that’s evidence that the earth is not getting any warmer. Just like because Donald Trump is president right now, that’s evidence we’ve never had a competent president.
---The Late Show
And from daytime:
“My name was trending [on twitter] because of this [headline]: 'Eric Trump suggests that Ellen DeGeneres is part of the Deep State.'
So I have some questions. First of all, which one is Eric---did he kill the elephant or the cheetah? I just wanna say, Eric, I am honored that you think that I'm powerful enough to be part of a government conspiracy. I am sorry to disappoint you, I am not part of the Deep State. Even if somebody wanted me to be involved, I don't have that kind of time. I've got my gay agenda meetings on Mondays. On Wednesday Beyoncé and I host an illuminati brunch. And then Portia and I on the weekends are desperately trying to have a baby so I can't. I don't have time."
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]